“For better or for worse” is a common guiding philosophy for committed relationships. We all know that it’s natural for any relationship to experience highs and lows and that no one is at their best every day.
However, if addiction or substance abuse is in the mix of the relationship, there becomes a new layer of complexity that impacts every aspect of your daily life. Being in a relationship with a partner who is struggling with substance abuse can create a sort of chaos that is difficult to live with. You may find yourself dealing with negative feelings, emotional strain, toxic behaviors, and maybe even violence.
Finding the right method to support your partner is crucial to helping them overcome their substance abuse problem. It could also be the only way to save your relationship. Below are some of the best ways you can support a partner with substance abuse.
Learn About Addiction
It isn’t always easy to identify what is and isn’t substance abuse, and people often have different opinions. But the more you understand, the more effectively you will be able to help your partner.
It’s important to understand that substance abuse and addiction are true medical conditions. Your partner didn’t wake up one day and choose to struggle. Addiction involves chemical reactions and brain changes.
Find resources that are trusted and accurate. Consider professional guidance through substance abuse counselling. Remember, not everything you read on the internet will be valid.
Communicate Effectively
How you relay information or express concerns will make all the difference in the world. Be mindful to have important conversations during times when your partner is sober. Use “I” statements to express your concerns. They will be perceived as less threatening and help to disarm the already-sensitive situation.
Make sure you’re honestly communicating your thoughts. Avoid downplaying your concerns, but also be careful not to offer demands or ultimatums.
Establish Healthy Boundaries
While you’re having honest conversations, it’s important to determine your boundaries and make a plan to enforce them. What behaviors are tolerable? Which ones are a hard pass?
Once you have these limits in place, consistency is key. If you cave once, you’re likely to cave again. Your partner will acknowledge the blurred line and think it is acceptable to disregard your boundaries. Some examples of enforcing boundaries include refusing to offer monetary support or fully removing yourself from certain situations.
Avoid Enabling
Your partner has easy access to your blind spots. It’s normal to want to protect them, to help them, and to offer support.
When substance abuse is involved, your help may end up enabling their bad behaviors without you realizing it. You don’t want to see them suffer, but you have to be mindful of how your actions affect the situation.
Avoid making excuses on their behalf. Limit taking over responsibilities that are neglected due to substance abuse. Avoid cleaning up the mess or offering financial assistance.
Explore Spirituality
Spirituality can be a positive force in overcoming substance abuse. Addiction is filled with negativity and often takes away positive qualities of the person suffering. Spirituality can help heal what’s broken.
Spirituality keeps you tethered to your core self. It offers purpose and meaning. If your partner is struggling, help remind them of their purpose and show them that they can overcome this. Encouraging different self-care practices, such as meditation or yoga, can help your partner reconnect with this core self.
Encourage Professional Treatment
Recovery from substance abuse is more of a marathon than a sprint. You and your partner need to have the right tools at your disposal, and outside guidance from a trained professional is a great resource.
You don’t have to do this alone. Contact us for more information about substance abuse counseling and to get started on a path to recovery.
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