Almost everyone knows what it is like to have unchecked, unfelt, or unconscious emotions create extra challenges in our lives.
If we don’t have the tools to feel and release them, it’s very likely that these repressed emotions are wreaking havoc in our lives and holding us back from reaching our fullest potential.
These repressed emotions can show up in all kinds of ways – perhaps a car in front of you isn’t driving exactly how you’d like and BAM – you are cursing and flipping them off uncontrollably! Or perhaps you notice that you have a ton of unchecked resentment towards people in your life, that you can’t seem to shake. Perhaps you shut down in relationship, or get overly reactive – and can’t seem to get a handle on what is happening!
When we have unprocessed emotions living in our bodies somatically, they can also create illness, auto-immune conditions, and mental health challenges such as depression and anxiety. Dr. Gabor Mate speaks to this topic a ton. The book, “The Body Keeps the Score”, also goes into this at great length.
If you suspect that this may be you, there is no shame in this. Our society is designed in a way that encourages the repression and suppression of our emotions and our authenticity, and this conditioning begins quite literally at birth.
There is no way around the fact that we must feel our emotions in order to release them. In this article, we will outline exactly how to do this.
Through following these steps, you may notice a significant feeling of lightness and deeper connection to yourself, physical tension may also decrease and melt away from your body, your relationships may improve, and you may start to feel more capacity to actually experience joy, happiness, and presence.
This process cannot be intellectualized – the feelings must actually be felt! So get your tissues ready.
How to release repressed emotions somatically:
A reminder here, that just because you have the intention of wanting to feel your feelings, doesn’t guarantee that they will reveal themselves to you right away, all at once. Regaining trust with the body can take some time, so be patient with yourself and explore what’s here with curiosity.
1: Get Present.
Carve out time and create a sacred space for yourself to process your emotions uninterrupted. This may mean blocking out your calendar, locking your phone and distractions away, and anything else that may interfere with you being able to drop in.
2: Physically Soften
Emotions tend to flow through softened bodies. So, you may want to lay down or find a position where you can really get quiet, still, and soften deeply. This can look like letting your jaw hang down and tongue rest on the bottom of your mouth. This can look like letting your back and neck be supported by something behind you like the couch, or just lying down, softening your shoulders. You can do a body scan and begin to consciously soften from the top of your head, down to your toes.
3: The BREATH
The breath is arguably the most important tool when it comes to feeling/moving emotion. You can utilize your breath to connect to your body, breathing into your belly, your chest, even into your fingers and toes. You can send your breath anywhere you feel stagnant, numb, tense, and on the exhale, loosen even further.
4. Tune into SENSATION
Now, you can begin to connect to sensations that arise in your body. For example, a buzzing in your chest that you may name as “anxious”. Or, a knot in your belly that you may name as “sadness”. Or, a burning in your throat that you may name, “anger”. Just begin to notice and name certain areas in your body. Bring in a deep acceptance and compassion for any sensations or emotions that begin to arise, welcoming them. You may even validate your emotions verbally out loud, by saying “I feel grief right now, in my heart”.
5. Movement and Sound
You may feel the impulse to move your body, and to let these sensations out through sounds. You may grunt and shake out your hands. Or you may get on your hands and knees and swirl around, letting out audible sighs or a lion’s breath. Just get curious. Follow your own impulses and let these sensations, sounds, and breath move through you with intuitive movement.
Reminder:
While you may come in touch with painful emotions, it is also allowed to feel GOOD. If you notice pleasure, follow that as well! This is also expanding your capacity and your connection to yourself and your felt sensation. Everything is welcome from pain to pleasure. Even numbness is deeply welcome – as that is also a sensation.
What to do afterwards:
1. Gratitude: Once you have moved through this process and feel your system coming down the other side of the cascade of feeling, you can thank your body and your emotions for revealing themselves to you. This is the beginning of building trust with your body and your parts (link parts work blog). You may say something like, “Thank you for showing yourself to me, grief”. “You are welcome here.” “I want to be your friend, and understand you”.
2. Integration and Self Care: When you feel complete, be gentle with yourself. Your body may need some time to integrate what it just experienced. Did a painful memory come up? Any revelations? You can create tangible steps for yourself. You may want to journal about what you experienced or realized. Maybe you saw an area in your life that you want to take action or make changes in.
Then, you could take a bubble bath, eat some chocolate, take a nap, put on soft cozy clothes, or partake in a little extra self care of your choice (link self care blog). Listen to your body here, as it knows what it needs.
3. Get more support!: Working with a licensed therapist can greatly assist with this process in accessing what is repressed inside of us. A therapist can help you integrate your experience and even accelerate the process. What may take years to process on your own, could happen much more quickly with a therapist or licensed professional like the ones at Quantum Psychotherapy.
Congratulations!
Taking these steps is a great act of self love and self care. You are taking steps to improve your life, and this will ripple out into the world and your relationships.
Quantum Psychotherapy Group offers therapy for adults, adolescents and couples therapy/marriage counseling. We have multiple therapists on our team who specialize in working with anxiety and depression, trauma healing and EMDR, plant medicine preparation and integration, addiction, Dialectic Behavior Therapy, and more.
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