Many of us may pass by a mirror and quickly think, “Is there food in my teeth?” or, “Oh, what’s my skin doing today?” Often, people pass quick judgments on themselves or avoid looking altogether.
So, what if we told you that there is a practice of sitting and staring at yourself in the mirror that could be super-duper healing? Sound uncomfortable, scary, or even embarrassing? It may be just the medicine that you need.
Mirror work is a practice designed to cultivate deeper self-love, self-compassion, and self-acceptance, and it may be one of the simplest, most accessible self-help tools out there.
Literally, it’s free! All you need is yourself, a mirror, some time, and some courage. It is also one of the most direct and ancient ways to access yourself. The eyes are the windows to the soul, and to gaze into your own is to access the innermost parts of your being.
It is a practice that was developed by Self-love expert Louise Hay, author of: 🔗: “You Can Heal Your Life”, “Heal Your Body”, and “Mirror Work: 21 Days to Heal Your Life”.
To start, just practice standing in front of your mirror for 5 minutes. You can hold gentle eye contact with yourself
Notice what arises from this simple practice – you may feel awkward and embarrassed, you may experience emotions such as grief or self-criticism, and self-loathing arises. Allow any emotion to just arise and pass with deep compassion.
It is common to come into connection with our Inner Critic before we connect to our Soul or Higher Self. In fact, they often serve as the gatekeepers to the soul. So, meet them with curiosity and patience.
As Louise Hay says in her book, “The mirror reflects back to you the feelings you have about yourself. It makes you immediately aware of where you are resisting and where you are open and flowing. It clearly shows you what thoughts you will need to change if you want to have a joyous, fulfilling life.”
In front of the mirror, you can no longer hide. You are exposed to yourself. And you are accessing very important information about your relationship with yourself. It is super important to meet whatever arises here with self-compassion.
Mirror work can be intimidating because it exposes some of our parts: insert part work blog here: that we may not have had access to – such as our inner critic, or even our inner child.
The more emotions you experience, the more transformation is available to you in these moments.
Each person’s mirror work journey is going to be unique, but here are some fundamentals that can help you develop your own practice. You may want to commit to 21 days at first, as recommended by Louise Hay herself
Create affirmations that feel true to you. Such as, “I love you”, “I accept you”, “I am so proud of you”, “You are beautiful and whole” … Tailor them what you are going through at that moment – for example, if you feel insecure about your appearance, you can affirm, “I am beautiful, inside and out”. If you feel afraid to do this work, you can affirm, “I accept myself in my process, and am proud of myself for showing up”, or something that feels true to you.
Dedicate 5 minutes or so each day, where you can be uninterrupted
Emotions are normal and welcomed
You may want to journal afterward to reflect on what came up
Here are some more sample affirmations that may help inspire yours. It is important that they feel authentic to you and where you are in this moment:
I am learning to love you
I am ready to take care of you
I trust myself
It’s okay to be afraid
You are never alone
I love how ______ you are
I am enough
I am whole
I am worthy
I am exactly where I am meant to be
I am doing my best each day
I am proud of myself
I honor my process and my pace
I am patient with myself
I am a gift to this world
I accept you
I am deeply wise and intuitive
I am strong and powerful
I am unique
I love ______ about my body
Step by Step Guide to Mirror Work:
Sit in front of your mirror, in a place where you can be uninterrupted
Put a hand on your heart, and begin to gently eye gaze with yourself for about 1-2 minutes, connecting with your body, and your gaze.
Notice what is arising in the body and bring a ton of self-compassion and acceptance to it. If emotions flow, let them.
Maybe even hug yourself.
Bring forward an affirmation that is sincere to the moment, and consider using your name with them. Repeat the affirmation 5 times or more, taking a moment in between each to let it land inside of you, and to be with any emotion or sensation that arises. You may repeat this with 5-10 more affirmations depending on how much time you have.
Close by putting a hand on your heart, and bowing to yourself
Journal and reflect on what your experience was.
Remember, if you are choosing to embark on this journey, give yourself some acknowledgment for doing this deep work. Mirror work may seem deceptively simple, yet it is deeply, deeply powerful if you commit to it. You may notice more ease in your body and in your relationship with yourself. You may even notice it translating into your relationships with others. Perhaps you are becoming less critical of others as you do this with yourself.
We are dedicated to your process and growth here at Quantum Psychotherapy Group.
Quantum Psychotherapy Group offers therapy for adults, adolescents, and couples holistic therapy. We have multiple therapists on our team who specialize in working with anxiety and depression, trauma healing and EMDR, integration after plant medicine, addiction, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, and more.
Written by: Erica Tait, LCSW, LCADC