Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy follows a powerful framework recognizing that every human being is made up of multiple parts. Each part of the mind has its own respective role with unique perspectives.
Rather than seeing flaws, this method views your multiplicity as a healthy approach to tackling life’s challenges. If you’re curious about how IFS works, understanding the six fundamental steps is a good place to start.
The Foundational Self
Before working through the steps, a key piece to the puzzle is the foundation IFS is built upon. The guiding force behind all the parts is the concept of Self. Your self is the core of who you are, characterized by qualities of curiosity, compassion, and calm. It’s an inner leader waiting to be tapped into. IFS serves to help you access your true self so you understand healing and transformation.
Step 1: Find the Target
The journey begins by focusing inward to see what thoughts, sensations, or feelings need attention. This could be:
- The anxious part of you that stays up at night worrying about things
- The angry part that flares up during conflict
- The perfectionist part that drives you relentlessly
- The part that shuts down when things get overwhelming
As your therapy progresses, you’ll work alongside your therapist to dig further into this part.
Step 2: Focus on the Part
Once you’ve identified a specific part, you’ll bring your attention directly to it. Notice where this part is carried in your physical body.
Does anxiety show up as tightness in your chest? Does shame feel like heaviness in your gut? By focusing on the physical sensations and emotional qualities of this part, you begin to develop a relationship with it. Allow this part to present its information.
Step 3: Flesh Out the Part
During this next step, you’ll begin establishing a relationship with the part and asking relevant questions. What does it look like? How old does it seem? What does it want you to know? You might discover that your critical part is actually trying to protect you from failure, or that your withdrawn part is attempting to keep you safe from rejection. At this point, you’ll start to see the part in its true form.
Step 4: Feel Toward the Part
This step invites you to notice how you feel about the part you’re getting to know. Ideally, you’ll feel curiosity and compassion toward it. However, if you notice judgment, fear, or frustration, that’s feedback that another part has concerns about this process. There’s no way to anticipate how your other parts will react to this process, so you’ll need to be mindful. Your therapist will help you work with any interfering parts during the process.
Step 5: Befriend the Part
Once you’re relating to the part from Self, you can have a direct conversation with it. Try asking what it needs, what it’s afraid of, or what its role in your system is. This dialogue builds trust between you and your parts.
Step 6: Unburden the Part
As parts feel truly seen and understood, they often reveal that they’re carrying burdens from the past like shame, terror, or feelings of worthlessness. These burdens typically stem from difficult past experiences. Your goal is to help release these burdens and help the part return to a balanced state.
Continuing the Transformation
Working through these six steps isn’t always linear. You might move back and forth between steps, or work with multiple parts simultaneously. What matters is that you’re learning to lead your internal system with compassion rather than being hijacked by protective parts.
If you’re struggling with anxiety, relationship patterns, or emotional overwhelm, IFS therapy can help you down a path to healthier balance and well-being.
Ready to begin working with your parts? Contact us to learn more about how IFS therapy can help you heal.
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