Narcissistic abuse is a deep form of manipulation, both emotional and psychological in nature, that often goes unnoticed but can leave a lasting impact on your life. By the time awareness sets in, much of the damage has already been done. Have you ever had that feeling of walking on eggshells around someone or feeling drained after an interaction? If the answer is yes, it could be worth considering whether narcissistic abuse is to blame. Understanding what narcissistic abuse is allows you to make adjustments to protect your well-being. Here we’ll explore a bit further.
Understanding Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse involves manipulation, emotional exploitation, and control to gain an uneven balance of power within a relationship. This can happen in romantic relationships, within families, among friends, or even in workplace environments. A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect. Narcissistic abuse is rooted in a toxic dynamic where one person is constantly left feeling like they need to change, shrink themselves to make room for another, or question their reality and sanity.
Common Patterns Seen with Narcissistic Abuse
Although every relationship is unique, some tell-tale patterns often come with narcissistic abuse. Here we’ll take a look at some of the more common ones.
Gaslighting
This is a term that is probably not unfamiliar, but the act of gaslighting happens more often than it should. It involves manipulation to the point of making someone question their own perceptions and memories.
When you bring up a genuine concern, you might be met with a response claiming it never happened or that you’re overreacting. As this continues, you start doubting yourself and give away your power.
Love Bombing
In the beginning phases of a relationship, there is typically a higher level of attention, affection, and promises. It’s shiny and new. It’s also called love bombing.
Once the initial bond is formed, the abuser shifts their behavior to be more critical and withdrawn, leaving you to feel confused and hurt. You’d do anything to return to that so-called honeymoon phase where life is all sunshine, rainbows, and butterflies.
Emotional Manipulation
The goal of emotional manipulation is to keep you in a controllable place, thrown off balance. Patterns of behavior might include playing the victim, withholding affection, or using your vulnerabilities against you.
Violation of Boundaries
A healthy relationship thrives on setting and adhering to each other’s boundaries. With narcissistic abuse, your boundaries are constantly dismissed or minimized. You may be punished for trying to enforce them. It pushes you into a place where you feel fearful of anger or retaliation.
The Physical Affects of Narcissistic Abuse
There is a strong connection between your mind and body. When you’re living through this type of abuse, your body pays attention. It remembers experiences and holds on to them, even as it tries to rationalize your experiences. Physical side effects can include the following:
- Anxiety or panic attacks
- Chronic tension, specifically in your jaw or shoulders
- Difficulty trusting your instincts
- Fatigue
- Hypervigilance or feeling on edge
- Numbness
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
Healing from narcissistic abuse isn’t about managing narcissistic patterns in another person. It’s truly about managing your symptoms and addressing the root cause of these patterns. The path to healing involves the following important aspects:
- Acknowledging the patterns of abuse
- Reconnecting with your body and re-establishing self-trust
- Reclaiming your reality
- Rebuilding confidence
- Setting and honoring boundaries
- Processing associated grief that often comes with recognizing narcissistic abuse
Getting Support
Working with a therapist who understands the dimensions of narcissistic abuse can make all the difference in your healing journey. Through adult therapy, we approach healing from a holistic perspective. If you’re struggling, know that healing is entirely possible. Schedule your consultation with us today to learn more.
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